In an New Relationship
In a New Relationship

Satisfying sex that makes both partners feel good takes a special kind of friendship. Take time to get to know your new partner and to find out what they feel and need. As your relationship develops you may discover that it is not just about sex.

When you are ready to talk about safer sex you can prepare yourself so that you feel more confident and in control.

Telling is difficult. If there is someone you can talk to about the worries you have and how you might deal with the possibility of an argument or rejection their support may be helpful. If you are on your own then try writing down your plan, rehearsing possible approaches, imagining how each of you might react to things that could be said.

Think About:

• What you want to say and why you want to say it.
• What worries you most about other people knowing about HIV.
• What is the best thing that could happen and what is the worst.
• How might you handle the situation and what might help.
• What will happen if you decided not to tell at all and how will you feel about this.

It may be easier to mention safer sex before you are "turned on" -- you can still back away without too much embarrassment. Listen carefully and check that the other person has understood your meaning. Most people respond very well to someone who is really listening and interested in them.

If things do not work out as you hoped they would...

• Is this still a relationship worth working on even if it is not a sexual one.
• How would you deal with a similar situation again -- people do react differently.
• Being on your own does not mean being sexless -- you may still have your thoughts and dreams.
• Sexual relationships take time and energy which you might choose to put into other relationships or other physical or mental activities.

Remember that many people with HIV have formed new relationships despite the difficulties.